A few days ago Jan, Sophia and I went to a semi-local mall to stretch our legs a bit. It was nice to get out. And since I needed a haircut at the time, I also stopped by one of the many haircutting establishments that abound in American malls today.Big mistake. I did get my haircut and it was also men’s day so I received my haircut with a few dollars off, but it was a bad haircut. In all fairness, it’s not a bad haircut in the sense that I have bald patches (I have a college roommate that it happened to – great story for another time), but I really don’t care much for it. There are twangs of hair here and there that didn’t get cut and it seems as if the shape is off somewhat. Simply a bad haircut.
I know what I did wrong. It wasn’t that I didn’t describe what I wanted well enough. Nor was there a long line of men waiting for a somewhat-less-than-full-price haircut that rushed my stylist (that’s what they are called… stylists). What I did wrong is that I didn’t go to my local barber who knew me and my less-than-forgiving hair.
My dad has been going to the same barber for years. And when I say years understand that I mean decades. Dad and mom have been married for over 40 years now. Dad and Frank (Dad’s barber) go back even further. Dad has followed Frank all over Erie. In fact, I think that’s the reason they moved to the East side when I was 18 months old – Frank moved so we had to move!
So why am I talking about haircuts, stylists and barbers? Dad very rarely has a bad haircut. Frank knows what he gets and even what he needs. Dad walks in and is greeted by name and a joke. Right now I happen to be reading a book entitled, Essential Church? By Thom Rainer and Sam Rainer III (read this quote). So far it’s a great book and I find myself excited to continue to read it.
Thom and Sam, in talking about the decline of the local church, say that the major reason why so many 18-30 year olds (and older) leave the church is that the church fails to be essential in their lives. Through their research they have found that most do not leave because of something acrimonious, they simply leave because the church has failed to challenge and interest them.
Dad is connected to a local church by seeing how church is essential to his (and his family’s life – thanks Dad!) life. Dad gives his time to serve at his church, to worship and enjoy fellowship. He blesses and receives blessings from his church family. His church family is important to him. And he feels important to them.
What are your thoughts? What can the church do to be more essential? I’ll write more about this, but right now I need to get a haircut.
6 logs on the fire (comments):
we must get out of the building and out of the institution and out of the meetings and hit the streets. we have to start being sacrificial and actually living differently because we follow jesus. i can't wait for this seminar!
I agree. It looks like a good one. I am really enjoying the book. When I'm done with it I'll loan it to you.
Hi Chris.
I think that authenticity (or lack thereof) is another huge factor in the journey toward "essentialness."
In my own life, for example, there is far too frequently an inconsistency between who I am in worship and who I am everywhere else. In an age of skepticism in which church is a societal non-essential, such lack of consistency will inevitably be interpreted as a sign of inauthenticity.
Also, churches seem to have a difficult time incarnating the joy and passion that, according to Scripture, are to accompany an ever-deepening relationship with Jesus. These days, people are going to have a difficult time seeing the church as being investment-worthy if there is not a clear sign that the church is doing something good and profound in the temperament, spirit, and behavior of its people.
Eric, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that you have already read the book! I just got done reading a section on the importance of being authentic.
Thom Rainer says, "An essential church is an authentic church. While young adults want to be welcomed and loved just like anyone else, they also desire authenticity. This generation was born into a marketed world. Streams of commercials, billboards, Web sites, and reality TV are normative in the lives of the wireless generation. They’ve never seen a rotary dial telephone; they might not even own a landline telephone (Sam and his wife do not). They see through phoniness because it’s plastered everywhere they go. They can sniff out artificialness with hound dog accuracy. Whether it’s an image, a lifestyle, or a product, they are constantly being sold something."
And I agree with your comment on incarnated joy. If we are going to be prophetic and offer a Godly alternative, we need to be compelling in our joyfulness and satisfaction in Jesus.
I'm from Erie, too and my dad always went to Frank the Barber." Could it be the same guy?
One thing about your barber story: reliability. Reliability is a huge aspect within the church. When a pastor makes statements/promises/recommedations and then doesn't follow through, it undermines basic trust. The relationship between a barber and his customer is based on trust. The same should be said for a mentor - any type of mentor/teacher - and his/her student.
On a different note, church is about fellowship, yes, but it should also be about challenge. Church is meant to foster growth. Stagnation is not good for anyone in any way.
Just my thoughts.
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